this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
