is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
