OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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