Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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