I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish you could order shots online.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
