You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
