I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Randomize
