a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
