Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
