So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
