OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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