Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i love accidental penises.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
