Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
