We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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