No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
