Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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