Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
