I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
