I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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