I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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