He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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