party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
