I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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