I think i peed on brittanys purse
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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