She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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