Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
