I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
