I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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