the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize