I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
