Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i out mim tonsoeep
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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