if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
