Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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