Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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