i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
