WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
