So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You ate ashes out of my bong
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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