you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
