Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
