Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
