Plan B is the new Plan A
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
