that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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