dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
