You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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