Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
