I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
