I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
