found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
