sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
