I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize