If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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