So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
