i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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