so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
