I wish i was in the wii world.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Someone signed my nipple.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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