So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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