Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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