she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
