wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
