All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize