come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
