I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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