It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Found the puke drawer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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