he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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