Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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